Sunday, September 9, 2007

Opening the Catacombs

Give me ecstasy, give me naked wonder, O my Creator!
Give birth to the Beloved in me, and let this lover die.
Let a thousand wrangling desires become one Love.
~ Rumi ~
The Darkness is not what we think it is...it is not really scary at all...it is only the "front line battle" that is difficult and painful, once the surrender happens, once the white flags fly, we magically slip into another dimension where the Holy Spirit reigns and the peace that passeth all understanding seeps into our cells. Last night (post-surrender), as I lay in bed I had the sensation of slipping into the silky, smooth darkness...like skinny dipping on a summer evening...walking to the edge and diving into the waters of a lukewarm lake...silky, smooth...and in that place I entered into the womb of the Cosmic Mother, the restorer of Souls. And in her safe and rejuvinating arms I drifted into dream land with a knowing that somehow I had entered a new territory...unlike any I have travelled before...simultaneously familiar and unknown...a new foray into the Living Mystery.
Today, as I sensed into this new and sacred ground I found myself walking on, I kept watch...looking for clues...listening for the call of some aspect of my Soul, some missing part of my heart that I had left behind. And in one simple conversation (actually one sentence) the catacombs holding a mystical and enchanted love opened and a part of my heart that had been trapped there with it was resurrected. It had been a "live burial" over 5 1/2 years ago...a love that could not be, that could not live in this world, had been sentenced to a living death within the catacombs of my own Soul. And today the "doors" cracked open and I remembered and I softened and my heart dilated and grew and I felt the armor of protection begin to melt. It was a beginning...it has begun...the melting...the awakening...the re-activation of Sacred Love.
A part of my Sacred Heart is making its return...a part of my Soul is coming home. Hallelujah Baby! I knew that something had changed in me when I left Seattle (1/15/2002)...that I had become hardened in some ways, less accessible, less alive, more removed. I found myself bracing against life and being less available to be touched and moved. Today I realized that I had buried my very own mystical and enchanted lover in those same catacombs and that after the burial I had donned the knight's armor...never to be penetrated with that piercing, transforming, Divine~Human Love again. Until now.
She is coming home. Slowly, awkwardly she emerges from the dark recesses...blinded by the light of day...sensitive to the sounds of this world...she is emerging. She is coming home. Her armor is falling away, her body, soul and heart revealed...naked exposure...open to the world again...ready to be loved...ready to be touched...ready to be revealed.
I am exhausted...retreiving "her" from the Underworld has required that I do battle and ultimately transform the dragons guarding the threshold. I would have never guessed what was buried there...it seems so obvious now...
And since this is the Urban Mystic's blog...I must give a quick reference to the urban aspects of my life over the last two days...what a delight it was to teach handsome, young Zachary (17 years old) how to parallel park yesterday...he takes his driver's test on the 18th and today I gave my first talk (really a dialogue) since my 40 days in retreat...which was the beginning to my "naked ministry." Stay tuned for more on that later Beloveds!
With Reverance to the Sacred Darkness and the Gifts She Holds,
Anakha Shannon Coman
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