I am here now...

I am lying in bed...almost 11 p.m., inspiration stirs me to get up and go to the "upper room" where my creative sanctuary is in the house and turn the computer on...here we go another ecstatic wave of emptying.

I lived the experience of sacred hunger today and I realized that my experience is teaching me about what is required if we are to collectively awaken from our slumbertrance numbingdepression, the "coca-coma" (as Andrew Harvey coined)....that keeps us from fully awakening the Sacred Heart and expressing the fullness of the Love and the Joy and the Creativity and the Compassion that lie dormant inside of us...'cause truly folks whatever prior measure we have experienced and expressed -- WE AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET...oh, says my Beloved....there is so MUCH MORE! As Andrew advised me...live it first Anakha...blog it...see what people respond to...teach it...try things on...see what is real, moving and essential to write about. Thank you all for being a part of what the Divine has entrusted us with...the beloved commandment to awaken our own Sacred Hearts and to be way showers, vessels and guides for ourselves and all others that will surely come to be stewarded and loved into their next evolution of being.

Here is what I am learning about the path...the experience of awakening the Sacred Heart. We hear and heed the call to new levels of aliveness, of radiance, of loving and living, of wholeness, of succulence -- we have had a taste (a remembrance?) of the milk and honey of the Kingdom that awaits us on the other side of this threshold and we set out on our hero/heroine's journey to the promised land... And the first passage we arrive at is opening and awakening to our Sacred Hunger...becoming present to the hunger that is raging in the core of our being if we dare...and I do mean if we DARE become present to it...and this hunger is universal and collective...it is not only reserved for those that are the most visible and "repulsive" signs of that hunger that we see on the 6 o'clock news -- these scapegoats that are home to our collective projection of addiction and psychosis -- and in this current time I believe the meth addicts are our most vivid and potent symbol of this hunger gone awry, this thirst gone unquenched...of the search for the sacred turned bad...I know something about these women for they were and are my soul sisters at Coffee Creek and I have watched them heal...and they have been my way showers...

And, if we dare to become present to the Sacred Hunger...it means that we will also become present to all of the ways we attempt to feed and satiate that hunger...to devour the hunger...to numb the hunger and in this new age...to affirm it into some recess of our body until we have starved the Soul and are disembodied robots living divided lives. If we become present to the battle...we will see our addictions and distractions...and even if we have years of sobriety...we will see how some of the old and maybe some of the new still lurk in dark corners or masquerade as holy rituals...so it takes a tremendous strength of the Soul and the differentiated Ego to say I will become present and aware to the ways I am attempting to feed this Sacred Hunger...which, requires the medicine of the compassionate observer....the one who sees and watches and yet makes no judgement...hands down no sentence of innocent or guilty...just gently observes in the midst of what is occurring.

And from this place of becoming present...of clear acknowledgement and gentle observation, we can begin to ask our Soul...our Hungry Hearts...softly in the quiet hours such as these...what dear one, are you hungry for? And we listen and we take notice and we heed the call to true nourishment....we ask and listen, we ask and listen...we notice and we begin the journey into the womb of the mother...the womb of nourishment...we become the womb of the mother, the womb of nourishment for ourselves and for one another...this is what happens when we heed the call...we become a womb of Sacred Love...we become fed and nourished by the True Vine...we become essential hosts to ourselves and one another. We become connected to the integral needs of our Soul and we take in this essential lifeblood of sacred nourishment...the true Eucharist...

As I pause in my writing I notice how this challenges me...to write about the shadow and how my own addiction to writing beautiful, to being beautiful, to speaking beautiful rears its head. If I am beautiful you may just love me, if I am beautiful you may not leave me, If I speak only beautiful words you may hear me. I hear the sounds of the monster at the threshold..."be nice, don't speak the truth if it is ugly...remember, all things bright and beautiful." Oh well it is late and my defenses are down...maybe that is why I seem to be blogging in the early a.m. and late at night...less of my fortified false self on the playing field...

I am honoring my hunger...will you honor yours? Will you become present to your numbing in a loving and compassionate way...the numbing...the addiction is the way in...no judgement, no controlling...just being present and bringing your Presence to it...gentle observation...this is where we begin...this is the beginning of Awakening the Sacred Heart...out of denial and disembodied trance into presence...BE.

I am being and I am listening to this sacred hunger which is the hunger for the awakened sacred heart...these are the most true and the most beloved hungers of my own Soul thus far...

I am hungry to experience myself as I truly am...unguarded, uncontrolled, unfettered, unrestrained, unbound, unbridled, unforced...I am ready to live ecstatic presence and the full mystery of the I AM that I am...I am ready to be here, now.
I am hungry for communal love....loving in community...seeing the flow of love in community and the exchange of gifts...I am ready to live in beloved communion with all Life.
I am hungry for my voice and my creative expression to be on stage, to be revealed, to be offered and received as blessing...I am ready to be seen, known, received and heard...I am here now.
I am hungry for the experience of desiring and unifying with my own body...with my own sensuality and sexuality...I am ready to embody my own wholeness.
I am hungry for naked, vulnerable, impassioned connections with others...I am ready to nourish and be nourished.

Please ask yourself...what am I hungry for?...listen for the answers that have the most soul weight...that resonate the most deeply...that enliven you, that sooth you...what is it that you are now ready to experience in your life that will deeply nourish your hunger for the sacred?
I invite you to share them here if you'd like...

Alright...I am spent...I hope this helps someone...it certainly is helping me...

Beloved and Holy Comforter, In honor of all those that hunger and thirst in all ways and especially those in the world that do not have food to eat and water to drink...may the feeding of our own hunger contribute to right nourishment in the world. And in my own Sacred Heart I know the unimaginable power and truth in this...for as we return to right nourishment...we will return to the right distribution of resources in the world. Amen Yeshua...Bring it On!

Butterfly Kisses,
Anakha