I didn't sleep last night, my mind restless, turning cartwheels across the midnight sky. I feel antsy like I am going on a trip, a journey and my plane leaves in the morning and I want to make sure I arrive at the airport on time and don't oversleep. Every night for the past week I have been roused in the night by the angels plucking me out of bed. I make the pilgrimage to the front room and look out over the river to the lights of St. John's. What is wanting my attention, my intention?
This morning after a 3 hour nighttime ritual which included eating 20 peanuts, drinking 1 glass of diet Squirt (I know Johnny, not good for me or the rats), 1 glass of water, searching the internet for information on Portland neighborhoods for Jimmy (who may buy a house here so those of us who love Ashland and Portland can co-locate!) and reading the first chapter of Natalie Goldberg's Thunder and Lightening, I finally hear...
Love wouldn't wait.
Love wouldn't wait.
Love wouldn't wait.
The truth of those three words resound, reverberate throughout my chest...the sound of truth hitting truth. Something real unveiled...love wouldn't wait. I exhale in the relief of being out to sea, my boat adrift and all of a sudden hitting something solid. Something to rest in. Some anchor in the cosmic sea.
Love wouldn't wait. Love wouldn't wait for touch, for kiss, for embrace, for holding. Love wouldn't wait to arrive, to show up, to surrender. Love wouldn't wait for romance, adventure and surprise. Love wouldn't wait for forgiveness, I'm sorry. Love wouldn't wait to be cracked open, revealed, spilled forth. Love wouldn't wait to be on purpose with passion. Love wouldn't wait to play, to pray, to praise. Love wouldn't wait for me to arrive on the scene with my outworn excuses, Love would go on stage now and proclaim the word. Love wouldn't wait to write, to speak, to begin again anew. Love wouldn't wait to dive into the mystery of you Beloved and discover the secret realms of your heart. Love wouldn't wait to disrobe, dismantle, dissolve. Love wouldn't wait to come all the way home to the fires, the burning embers of the breath of Divine passion swirling in the cold night sky.
Love wouldn't wait to begin.
Beloveds, what are we waiting for?
Can we begin?
Love wouldn't wait.
Love isn't waiting.
Last call...
Dive in with Wild Abandon...
Now.
Today let us dive in with wild abandon, let us dance with the chaos, let us bring our hearts and our loving and our living fully alive.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Anakha--The forest --the trees, you know the old saw. Consider that you are swimming in a Sea of Love, now, at all times.
The ups and downs, the doubts and frets, the heart spazzing, spine tingling trembling --all manifestations in the Sea of Love. You are buoyed always by this--your spirit and soul singing and swimming in this--the mind is always last to know.
I too have been staring out the window, wandering around in the middle of the night. What alchemy is this? Changes brewing, whats cooking? whats up? This might only be between you and me you know. Every one else seems to be sleeping peaceably--you are on my mind, I am looking forward to being with you again.
I am glad that you just don't lay there and toss and turn--who says you have sleep at a certain time and rate--just conventions really--get up, howl at the moon, watch the tugboats, cranked on peanuts and sprite--.
Full on Family weekend. The big Party, but really a better one here last night. I cooked for everyone. Many grandchildren and all my Kids, all gathered around the big old family table. Fresh beets from the garden, with lots of steamed beet greens, a big dish of fresh wild chantrelles w some chives, a monster boccancini/beefsteak tomatoe salad with Dads magic potion, Fresh corn, a huge pile of fresh Albacore--talk about a Sea of Love. Big fire in the living room--not a bit left of all the food and then Lynne produced another one of those spectactular Apple pies--All gone now.
So I am content--everyone has scattered back to their lives, Lynne is headed to Victoria--just me and the woodpile and an Italian plum tree to pick--wondering what will unfold in the near future.
This week is catch up on parts that I have to make, way behind what with all the sales stuff--but must have the bits on hand during my absense.
Playing on the piano this morning to my grand daughter's amusement (she's 7, my bigest fan)--0730, a bunch of knocking on my door, there are my 3 and 2 year old grandsons--so totally cute--mawning ommpa.
------------------------
Your fathers dying in a way your rebirth--shifting of energies I don't know. But I see this transformation within you --this EXCITEMENT. The Phoenix--from your despair comes your new glory--Your heart is intact, you are intact this I do know.
Johnny
Post a Comment