Fall in Love

Swirling, I am swirling in a post-sacramental daze.
Dazed by the Great Mystery that is this beautiful blue planet and all that is this Life.
I am dazed by the great mystery of my life.

I was up this morning before sunrise, Kundalini yoga in the dark, shower, dress in my new "magic dress" (and yes, that is it's name!), off to speak, or as one woman said "it wasn't a sermon, it was a heart opening." Then a quick stop at the local natural food store for, yes, Kombucha Trilogy and Chocolate with Ginger (a tantalizing combination, one brand even calls it "Sexy") and on the road again to Deer Creek Park to prepare for the Ordination ceremony.
It was a beautiful ceremony, the "bride", Patriciafaye, was glowing and weeping.
The sun was shining and the wind was caressing us...
the Holy Spirit was on the "playing field" of that I am certain.

It was phenomenal and exquisite and I was the silent partner, invisible in many senses, just one of the many instruments available in this grand orchestration. I loved this new sense of anonymity, being fully present as an instrument and at the same time neutralized, invisible allowing the Spirit to take centerstage. Allowing this new minister to move onto her own ministerial centerstage, her birthright act, take one.

I crave the silence tonight.
I feel such a sweet humility.
I want to be held.
I want to cry from the great relief of no longer having something to prove,
or to be, other than what and who I am.
Take it or leave it, this is me.
I show up, I do my best, I learn, I grow, I fall down, I get up, I love...
I am so in love, so much falling into love with myself...especially and truly...
the darkest, most neurotic aspects of my Self.

I am grateful and I am humbled.
And I ask to be fully broken open in radical love.
This is my obsession...to become love, radiant love.
To give love, to transfer it from my sacred heart to yours...as the silent partner, unbeknownst to you until after I am long gone and you are left to wonder and wander in a love-crazed daze.
I am here to embody the Sacred Heart in its entirety, in my entirety.

I am listening to Natalie Goldberg's CDs, she reads "Writing Down the Bones" and comments on it 14 years after writing it. She advises all of us mad artists, writers and mystics to follow our obsessions, to fully engage them, because they have so much power....harness the power, direct the energy into a creative masterpiece! So here we go...the naked heart mistress will now joyfully and most reverently confess her current life obsessions:
love, succulent love, radiant love
intimacy, full present moment connection ~ "into me see"
dance, movement, touch, breath, contact
writing, writing, writing
yoga -- especially kundalini
sacred sensual sexual feminine (or awakening my erotic innocence)
dark chocolate (ginger, raspberry, orange are my favorites)
being held

I am just so grateful, so grateful for the breaking open of my heart.
I am so full of love tonight, I wish you all were here with me.
I would play my Tina Malia CD and insist on one big beautiful puppy pile
complete with innocent heart murmurings and spontaneous love poems.

Fall in love, fall in love with me...
XO
Anakha