Vertigo Matte

{Warning: this is a sprawling, rambling blog...the kind that happens when you have had little sleep for 2 weeks because of the outrageous divine energy that is running through your life...the kind that happens when you haven't been blogging for day...so, I kind of sort of apologize, but not really..."you have been warned!"}

I keep hearing the lyrics to Diana Ross's song Upside Down playing through my mind. Everything in my life is turning, turning upside down, inside out. What was, isn't...what wasn't, is. This is one of the greatest turnings of my life. I am turning inward, outward, upward.

There is no turning back. I am turning into love.

Last night John (that's John sitting in my yellow chair, wearing the grapes on his head!) and I shared an Indian meal at Vindalho in the SE Clinton District after dancing the chaos of bliss or the bliss of chaos or some interesting juxtaposition of chaos and bliss at Wednesday night ecstatic dance. Before yesterday I could count the number of sentences John and I had exchanged on one hand. John owns the Old Stone Church in Bend -- the church that I have been speaking at for several years now. Our hearts collided last Sunday. He came up at the end of my talk...and all I can remember is seeing this open, open heart pouring out love...it was if love was oozing from his pores.

This is what happens when we dare to tell ourselves the truth...when we dare allow the Truth to shatter the sweet and comfortable life we have built that has now become our prison...when we allow our hearts to be blown open...shattered in love, as love, for love. This is what happens when we stop playing at life and decide to live it fully. This is what happens when love comes to town...everything, absolutely everything that keeps us from love arrives with an urgent request to be donated to the fire, to be burned to ash so that Love's Phoenix can rise.

John is one of the rare souls on this planet who has surrendered to the ecstasy and the agony of Love. He is burning in the fire...experiencing the sweet agony of love expanding and blowing out the casings of his beautiful, bold and brilliant heart. And in his presence, and in that divine alchemy that he is swimming in...I too was expanded, my mind blown from being stretched to carry seemingly opposing points...the beauty of the paradox, the mysteries of love.

We had a 24 hour conversation...I might even say metafusion, mindsoulheart communion...that catapulted me back out into an alchemical orbit. These days it seems that I am colliding with other souls at an increasingly high speed and when we collide there is fusion and in that fusion life whips me around, turns me upside down, shakes me loose, rips me open and everything changes, absolutely everything changes. I am being catapulted from reality to reality. Through the eye of the needle into experiencing more and more of the Kingdom of Heaven. If I didn't know better I'd think that someone was spiking my Kombucha...the electric kool-aid acid trip. This experience of the collision of souls, this exchange of Presence reminds me of Jung's quote, "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

Yeah baby, that is what is happening....a quantum chemical reaction between Lovers...and I do mean the Big L...Lovers.

I think this is what the new era is all about...showing up, naked, open...embodying the Presence, exchanging essence, experiencing radical transformations where two or more are gathered in the Name. That name is Love. Big Love. Big Fucking Love. And it will blow your mind and it will shatter all the illusions of who you are and what you are supposed to be, and how you are supposed to act, and who you are supposed to love, and how to love, and where to go and what you exist for. It will strip you of that carefully composed...artificially made identity and leave your writhing naked in the ecstasy that descends when you burn, when you burn, when you finally surrender...then you burn. Every fucking thing you have held onto to keep yourself safe, secure, protected, will be shredded. Everything will be called into the fire. Every lie you have lived, every lie you have told will show its face and be dissolved in the presence of truth.

I have been one of those people...masked, shrouded, high-security system, walls, barriers...you might even say I have had a receiving deficit. That has all changed now...I am a receiving mecca...ready to receive all the Good, all the Love that God and her sweet Universe have to offer. I am ready be in a perfect dance of giving and receiving Love, where the giver and the receiver meld into one sacred spiral of blessing.

John is teaching me about telling the truth. He said today, "we think others can't handle our truth...but they can." We can live in truth, we can thrive in truth...we are wired for truth...anything else weakens our life force, destroys the precious love force that wants to course through us...have its way with us. How can anyone love us...how can we love ourselves, if we constantly tuck away the most delectable and the most detestable parts that make us the precious ruby gem that we are?

Love will have its way...that is for certain, some day...sooner or later...love is going to find you. And when She does, She is going pin you down and penetrate you with Her soul piercing gaze. The hot and fierce passion of a woman determined, a woman devoted, a woman whose heart has been burned in the fires of Love. And when He finds you, He is going to cradle you, sing you love songs until everything hard and brittle falls away and all that is left is your honey wine soul, your loosened heart, your lover's body.

We are melting into Presence,
Overflowing Effervescence
We are rising in Love.
We are Awakening.

I am.
We are.

Talk to me people...please, I am hungry for your naked heart exposure.
Fan my flame with your heart's deepest truth.

xo,
RevA

Embody the Erotic

Embody the erotic. This is the guidance I just received from my "Light Shadow Aspect" -- a term Debbie Ford uses to describe an aspect of our magnificence that is ready to come forward and lead us into a more fully expanded experience of love and life. My "aspect" was dressed in a red dress, black heals, with dark smooth hair, red lipstick, mysterious, not fully revealed but dripping with sensuality, sexuality...the sacred erotic embodied. If she was a smoker, and she's not, she would have one of those long smoking sticks that the movie stars in the 20's used. She moves slowly, she owns the room, she owns her body, she owns her power, she owns her beauty, she moves slowly, clearly towards her desire, towards her purpose. She is intent. Her name is allurement...she owns the stage with love's radiance. People clamour to be in her presence...to be melted into the presence of joy, of love, of radiance, of the sacred erotic. She fills my presence, she plumps me into beingness. She is not afraid of the energies of seduction and sexuality. She knows that being cut off from the erotic isolates her from love's presence and limits her radiance. She knows that God created the fullness of her body, her breasts, her essence and that no part of her is separate from God, from Love. She knows that to fully embody the I Am presence, she must shatter the illusion that her beauty, her body, her sensuality is separate...she moves towards the fullness, the juicyness, the passion, the delight of embodying the erotic.

These are my marching orders from the 9th week of Debbie Ford's Radical Reinvention program. The area of my life I am radically transforming is my work in the world, my creative offering to my Beloveds in the world. And this is the key...Anakha fully embodying the sacred erotic, fully shining the light that comes from love's radiance.

My homework this week...to play with the energy of seduction, of allurement and to bring these energies into my temple of what is Sacred. I am being asked to bring these energies home and not judge them as other than God, other than me, other than sacred. I am allurement. I am alluring. And this is the gift God is asking me to bring to the world...allurement, the whole world is in love...it is this energy of allurement, of attraction that holds the cosmos together. It is beautiful. I am beautiful. You are beautiful. We are now entering the mysterious and magical dance of allurement. We are here to embody the fullness of Love's radiance. And Beloveds that includes the powerful energy of the sacred erotic. (Yes, David...I can see you smiling, nodding...with that..."told you so" knowing).

What is the gift we give and receive as a result? We feel the joy of being. We are flooded with the pure delight and the pure joy and the pure radiance of fully living our aliveness in alignment with the Divine Erotic...the one that makes love to the void and creates this amazing and awesome Universe. God is Love. God is Sex. God is the Sacred Erotic.

Yes, Beloveds...this blog is going to get interesting now. And, edd...I am glad you stuck around to see what this blog is about!

I am off to explore. And you may be laughing or you may be wondering or you may be cringing and wondering how this has anything to do with awakening the sacred heart and becoming love....well, it has everything to do with it...wait, watch, pray, see!

I know, like I know, like I know that this is key to me being fully played as the instrument of the Divine I am. God is making love to me, God is loving me into being...this I know.

Join with me...Embody the erotic...if you dare...

Chips, Salsa and Grace

I sat across the table from my younger brother Andy (Coman) yesterday as we shared a meal at our father's favorite Mexican restaurant in Bend -- Andy reminded me that he had eaten dinner there with our Dad the night before he died...just a little over 2 years ago now.

It was a beautiful and odd experience to sit with him and be so reminded of myself. I didn't grow up with Andy and yet in many ways he is a twin soul. Looking into his eyes I see the depths of the mystic, the artist...the wounded soul that is resurrecting. I see a young man seeking the real...the authentic...not buying the party line. I see my brother...who loves Jesus in his own way and I see how we both find respite in the arms of that unconditional, all encompassing love. Andy is my brother, I know that just like I knew that my Dad was my father...something about being in their presence helps me to know and to see more clearly who I am.

At some point in the meal, I made a reference to the scripture: "for when I am weak, I am strong." A little while later Andy said, "thy grace is sufficient for me." And today as I looked those scriptures up I am amazed to find them in the same verse.

"`My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'....
When I am weak, then I am strong."
(2 Corinthians 12:7,9,10 NIV)

When I am weak, then I am strong. I believe that today, because that has been my experience lately. The more unraveled, undone, revealed, blown open. distraught, disfigured, un-together I become...the more naked and vulnerable I am...the more my life moves forward, the more my life operates in alignment with Divine Will, the more room for the strength and the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit. This is new for me...Anakha undone, irresponsible, look good gone and yet in some strange way I think I must look better than ever. The false front gone, the plastic mask discarded, I stand revealed in the truth of who I am, or at least more truth than I have ever allowed myself to see, to be, to show. I am letting go of the need to know, to look good, to have it together, to be pretty, thin, attractive, to get it right, to be attractive, successful, healed, whole. I am done striving to get anywhere, be anything other than what I am moment to moment. And some part of me, acutally all of me, thinks....no KNOWS that that is going to be pretty damned amazing. I know most of you in my life are probably exhaling and thinking Thank God. It must be exhausting and somewhat difficult to be my friend at times. The constant push and trying to figure it out. Relax, surrender, let go. I realized last week that I don't really know how to relax. Even when I lay down I notice my body still trying to hold itself up, together, in. I am done trying to hold myself. Hold myself up, in, together. Done. The Beloved can do that now. I have better things to do with my time than attend to my selfness. I want to crawl into the arms of the Mother and let go...I want to crawl into bed and relax, sleep, love. I want to breath deeply and fully. I want to exhale long and deep. I want to trust, to have faith, that everything that I have longed for, everything I have wanted to give to this world is coming, is here, is happening, is done.

I am weak and the Presence of God is strong. I know very little and I can see very little right now. Yet I am a Lover of God. I seem to know the movements of the Soul...or at least recognize the patterns. I hear the voice of God constantly and am guided by my Beloved Yeshua and for these gifts and consolations I am eternally grateful. My voice is inspired when I surrender and let myself be played, strummed, beaten like a drum. God is using me in this radiant heart awakening. I am medicine for awakening in love. There is nothing for me to worry about...just write the book, speak the words, heal the hearts, rouse the dead.

Today I stayed in my sweats all day and attempted to relax and do nothing. My body has been screaming at me in its own way to "stay off my feet." I am doing my best to be.

What I really want right now Beloveds is to rest, to play, to be and to let this beingness, this radiant heart presence to magnetize to me everything that is in the highest good to come to me, to be used in my life to make love, to make art, to make money.

I am grateful for this breaking open into love. I am grateful for being pierced by the sweet agony of grief. I am grateful for the humility that has come from seeing how many people I have hurt by my slumber, from my fear, out of my pain. I am grateful for my failings and my mistakes. I am grateful for the courage that arises and allows me to be plunged into the Dark Night. For in this place the Divine is freeing the imprisoned brilliance and splendor that lives in my soul.

I am freeing up my inheritance, I am living the Kingdom.
I am a trillionaire of love.

I am, are you?

XO,
Anakha

P.S. I hope to be back into regular blogging soon...it seems to be a challenge to get back to it after taking days off. The wifi connection will be live at the house on Friday!

Kundalini Stuffing

I have two things on my mind this morning as I walk up and down the stairs from the old house to Ruby (my car) -- Kundalini and stuffing! I am moving the last of my things out of the Saltzman house -- mainly clothes and shoes. I find my mind obsessing about getting in my Kundalini yoga practice (which I have missed since last Friday) and getting to the store for the ingredients to make Grandma Cleo's stuffing! I am amazed at how simple and yet obsessive my mind can be...kundalini, stuffing, kundalini, stuffing, kundalini, stuffing...somehow this grey matter is fixated on those two tracks this morning. I wonder where the rest of the millions of possible thoughts are at this moment -- ooooo, here comes one now...

I learned a new term last night from one of "my girls" -- Kadesh -- a brilliant, red-headed yogini now living in LaGrande, OR. She taught me the Sanskrit word "jiva" which means embodied soul. I am grateful for all the "jivas" in my life today. I am grateful to those of you that drop in and see what is happening in the continued unfolding of my heart and my life. Before I leave to go to the new place today, I am going to write a brief list of my gratitudes for the jivas in my life.

My teacher Andrew Harvey says we live in the kingdom of joy and I believe gratitude is one of the vehicles into this kingdom....

Gratitudes:

Kombucha
Chocolate
Kundalini Yoga
Yeshua
40 days and 40 nights
The Silence
Yoga Mat
Ecstatic Dance
Jimmy -- generosity and vision
Gene -- constant, unconditioned love and encouragement
Lisa -- overwhelming enthusiasm for God
Mom -- courage, love in action, belief in my vision
Gary -- sustainer, friendship, laughter, reminding me to not take myself too seriously
Magdalena, St. Theresa, St. John, Mother Mary
Andrew Harvey
Tara -- tough love friendship, soft compassion, generosity, creativity
Su -- embodiment of the feminine, gentle witnessing
Aminga -- joy, laughter, deep friendship, knowing, seeing, playful spirit
Peter -- your adoration and support, your tenacity, your courage, your willingness
Delayne -- vision, creativity, your belief and encouragement, your walking the talk of living a radiant life!
Seven Jeans, MAC make-up, Dagoba chocolate
David -- friendship, invitation to the naked heart, full exposure
Anna -- for loving, healing...for your teaching and your beautiful heart
Crystal -- for your commitment to your recovery to living a life of radiance and joy
Nichole -- humor, playful engagement, vulnerability, confusion, searching
Veronica -- for your integrity and your commitment to you spiritual path, for believing in something greater than the eye can see.
Johnny -- for your constant presence and care, for your mystic's heart...nature's way, for your gentle reminders and wise advice
James -- for the reconnection, the reminder, the opportunity to know you again anew
Jack...for being my constant mystical companion on this journey, for loving me and making me laugh...for reminding me to play ball!
My body, my muscles, my bones, my beauty
My vulnerability, humility
My healing and my transforming
My speaking and my teaching
For the unfolding and the expansion of my spiritual gifts
For Grandma Cleo -- her life, her transition, her love that had its way of penetrating my walls -- always, all ways.
For my Grandfather Burl who watches over me...who stands close behind me...who has my back.
For my Father Ted...for making your transition, for freeing us, for causing me to grow, to feel, to deepen into my grief
For all of you naked heart mystics in the world...seen and unseen...
For all of life...
For the opportunity to embody radiant love...
to become blazing, burning fiery love.

I say Amen...I say Thank You.
Alaha Huba

P.S. No wireless at the new house yet so blogging may be a bit inconsistent for awhile! Change, baby, change!

Profound Nothingness

I was standing in line at the locksmith's this morning with Jimmy, waiting for keys to be made for the new house. He picked up a magic eight ball (you remember those black spheres we used to play with as teens?!) and asked it, "will The Moses Code be wildly successful?" The answer was basically, "you are on a need to know basis and right now you don't need to know." I pick it up next and silently ask myself if my writing and speaking are going to take off this year...the answer "decidedly so." Or something to that effect. I smile and Jimmy starts whining, "how come I didn't get a better answer?" I don't know about you Jimmy, but I certainly am needing some help in the faith department right about now.

I am grateful for several signs from the universe I received today that are telling me to hold on, hang in, and preserve. I awoke this morning with an overwhelming sense of grief. Last night was the first night that I slept at the new home and I was waking up in a "foreign land." I felt such a deep, deep loss and an overwhelming sense of being plunged into the mystery, into a void of profound nothingness. Feelings of desperation, desolation and fear flooded me. I remembered the dream that I had woken from...a man in a room with a pad of paper and pencil was interrogating me about my past, my mistakes, my defects, my transgressions. He was asking questions and taking notes. At one point he got up from behind the table and said, I have two other things to ask you about but I will need to close the door.

And then I wake up. Wow am I being worked right now...even my dream life is holding me to this razor's edge of integrity! I should be happy, I think to myself. I should be....and then I remember that this move is more than a change of location it is a radical change in my core...it is about extreme exposure...bringing my mystical vision, gifts, writing and speaking to the world. Everything that has limited me and held me back is being released, has been released. I am reeling with the vulnerability of being thrust into this new reality, this next dimension. This mystic is in action, the sacred is embodied within me. My work in the world is taking off, attracting people and generating love. And I am grateful and I am shaky and I am exposed and I am here, I am one and I am love.

After laying in bed for an hour thinking and feeling and listening to the rain, I hear a break in the rain and decide to put on my running clothes and take myself for a run around my new neighborhood. My body is feeling the effects of lifting boxes, unpacking and hauling things up and down stairs, in and out of cars. My run takes me through the Clinton neighborhood up to 39th and down through the Hawthorne District where I have a rare opportunity to run down the deserted sidewalks...it is early and no one is shopping yet. I stop by Gene's house for some "emergency body work" (my right side is really torqued right now) and a Grape Kombucha.

I don't know. I don't know and that is the truth. I don't know where all this is leading. And I trust or at least I want to trust that I need not do anything, or at least very little other than attend to each moment as it arrives, to trust the unfolding, to know that I am enough, to trust that life will come to me...I need not chase after it. God knows my deepest heart's desires, they were planted there so very long ago...being prepared and nurtured through the years of my life, receiving the extra fertilizer of the 40 days...being prepared to breakthrough the soil's surface and spring forth into new life. I want this breakthrough...I am ready to serve and to put my gifts into play in whatever way will best serve this awakening, this melting into presence, this rising in love, this collective embodiment of radiant love. This is the Second Coming of the Christ embodied in each and every one of us. Please God, please let me serve this Christing in a powerful and palpable way...I am ready, I wanting...I am on my knees...devoted, donated, surrendered...begging to be used well.

I am tired and am running the risk of blogging on and on about nothing. Which is where I am at right now...in a profound state of nothingness. My life and my living has been emptied. I enter the void...the dark womb where creation of new life occurs. I dig deep for my faith...seeing if my anchor will actually find anything to land on as I drop it into the dark and mysterious seas of the Beloved. I am not adrift and I am not rudderless...I am one drop in the ocean that is God. I am here. I am one. I am love.

I am.
Amen.

P.S. I mentioned receiving a couple of signs from the universe today and forgot to share what they were...

1) A couple blocks into my run I look to my right and see a sign in some one's yard that reads
"F A I T H." It isn't a pretty or decorative sign, just some "random" sign stuck in the lawn. FAITH.

2) The 8 ball message "decidedly so" -- regarding my writing and speaking taking off.

3) Jimmy asked me to be in LA for the premiere of The Moses Code...he said, "I'll get you on stage to speak Anakha, I can't pay you, but I'll get you up there...it will be a great launching pad for you." Hay House is promoting the event featuring Debbie Ford, Andrew Harvey, James von Prague and Jimmy...1200 capacity theater...Get ready...3/1/08!

Come for the Eye Candy, Stay for the Message

I spent most of the day (Thursday) moving to my new home. I am rummy tired...body, mind, hands and feet. I feel like a long-haul truck driver after driving a 26' U-Haul all over SE Portland (maybe that's a little dramatic, but I even had to back it into the gas station pumps -- Jose, the attendant was freaking out as I almost took out the whole island).

I have never lived in SE Portland so just about everything is new to me. In fact, moving to SE is a great metaphor for my life right now...it is the part of town that I have spent the least amount of time in...only an occasional trip to the Hawthorne District. This is brand new territory! Thank God, I am ready!

The best decision I made this week was to hire Robert and Chris (workdog2006@yahoo.com movers I found on Craig's List) from Experienced Movers (Robert's company). I really wanted to hire people that would be fun to spend 4 hours with. I was guided perfectly. I knew Robert was the one for me when I called him on the phone and he started making up jingles with my name -- Anakha, Yamaka, Hanukkah, Not M as in Monica, probably plays the harmonica...and on and on and on. I thought to myself -- this is going to be interesting. At the end of our discussion Robert is talking really fast (he's on the clock at another job) -- I hear him say we've got the dollies, the blankets and the hand cuffs. What? I blurt out, "great, but you can leave the handcuffs at home Robert." "What did you say? Handcuffs? I didn't say handcuffs. Guys, Anakha just said to leave the handcuffs at home. (raucous laughter in the background) Anakha, I said hand trucks." "Oh, right!" I say. Yes, this is going to be interesting indeed. We set the appointment for Thursday at noon.

One thing I want to mention about my decision to hire movers this week is that I asked myself what would a woman who is acting in alignment with her worth would do? The answer was crystal clear -- she would hire movers. She wouldn't spend her energy trying to line up her friends and their schedules, she wouldn't struggle with boxes that are too heavy for her and end up with bruises and broken nails. No, she would hire the professionals and get it done. This is going to be my guiding question for my life decisions right now -- what would a woman who is acting in alignment with her worth do? Fabulous, brilliant question -- cuts through all the confusion and brings me to a choice point to stand in my worth and therefore create more worth -- and I am talking esteem and moooola!

Anyway, this was the best decision and I thank God for guiding me to Robert and Chris. They were so much fun. We talked about recovery and spirituality and "my flock." They teased me and one another incessantly. I highly recommend them for their skill, efficiency, humor and entertainment value. They did break one lamp shade -- "Oh no Anakha, now I have to go look for a lamp shade that looks like it has mold on it." (By the way Robert, that lampshade came from Urbino Home on NW 23rd and it is a beautiful paper with pressed flowers -- not mold.)

Here is a taste of of some of the one liners served up by Robert:

"Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past!" (Ain't that the Truth!)

"What do you know about love Robert?" I ask.

"I know that you can't be spiritually or emotionally available to someone if you are still engaging your compulsions! Whether its drugs, work, money, eating -- it doesn't matter -- if you are in compulsion, you aren't in love."

"Where's your flock Anakha? Gene, are you in the flock?"

"Come for the eye candy, stay for the message."
(In regards to the Rev. Anakha -- thank you Robert, I'll take that compliment)

"My spiritual program is stronger than it has ever been."
"What's your program?" I ask.
"Anakha, there's only one program...you're either connected or your not."

And on and on and on it went! All the big stuff is moved and I will spend today going through boxes and starting to settle in. I am looking forward to having you come visit once the Sacred Heart Sanctuary is open for business.

By the way, the inscription on the sidewalk right in front of our house says,
Everyone must have one grand passion!
And so it is!

I Am Not An Island, I Am Not Alone

Tender, we are all truly so tender. Our hearts, when naked, unguarded and revealed, are so very tender. There are so many layers covering the naked, sacred heart. So many disappointments and heartbreaks. These layers numb us -- our passion, our connection, our purpose. Frozen grief turns disappointment to stone paralyzing the soft, velvety center of our hearts. I am aware today and more and more these days of how precious the lifelines that connect us to one another actually are. We are more vulnerable than we'd like to admit to the actions and inactions of our brothers and our sisters. In our ivory towers we claim peace and perfection. I say come dance in the streets with the despair and desolation. We are collectively shrouded in a blanket of shame. This is what stands between us and the embodied experience of our oneness and our unity. Our attempts to uphold our superiority are only sophisticated disguises for our own pain, our own despair and feelings of worthlessness, powerlessness. This is the story of our "occupation" in Iraq.

I wish to heal this war. The war within, the war without. I wish to disrobe in front of my beloveds and to begin to lift this blanket of shame so that we may truly experience the oneness -- the one mind, the one heart, the one life -- that I know exists and that I hunger to experience in thought, in feeling, in breath, in body.

None of this makes sense...I am reaching...I am reaching for an answer. I am begging for an insight, a vision that can make sense of the separation I see. I keep hearing the song War is Love..."war is love, when love breaks down." I don't wish to sugarcoat and to spin worthless affirmations about our oneness when the war continues. I wish to see, to truly see what stands between me and love, what stands between you and I and our sacred unity. What needs to be addressed, dissolved, burned to the ground so we can see the wholeness carried in the shape of the moon?

I am tired of a child's play spirituality that claims truths and fails to examine and take 100% responsibility for what lies between that truth and the full embodied experience of it in the relationships and circumstances of our lives and our living.

What I am really wanting to say is, if we want peace on this planet in our lifetime it is time to wake up to the violence we enact day to day by our action and our inaction. By our refusal to see how one hurtful comment, one held back word of praise can change the course of our whole evolution into love. We are at a point in time when we must walk the razor's edge of integrity in our consciousness and in our actions. It is time to heed the call to love and that means to heed the call to heal what stands between us and love.

I don't care if you have managed to create some level of perfection and protection in your own life when just beyond your front door is despair, madness, desolation. We must take responsibility for it all. It is our creation and it is ours to heal.

I find myself wanting to apologize for this cloudy and inarticulate call to awareness, to tenderness and to love. I want my heart to expand and be host to love. I want my vision to expand to hold this separation within the greater oneness. I am grateful for being disoriented in this quest and questioning. I have no answers. I am baffled at how we could have come so far off track in living the one commandment that all religions agree on..."love one another."

Are you willing to move off your well protected states of peace and well-being and allow yourself to become disrupted for the sake of love in the world? Wake up. It's time to wake up. I've been asleep. It's time to wake up now. In the words of Melissa Etheridge..."I am not an island, I am not alone..."

Living in the awareness of the fragility of the human heart...
Ameyn.

Anakha Bloggette

It doesn't serve anyone or anything for you to be in crisis, in constriction, in fear or in drama. If you want to serve Life, if you choose to serve Love, then consequently you must fully stand in the Truth of who you really are ~ the radiance, the love, the joy, the power, the capacitance, the brilliance, the giftedness. This is not the trappings of the ego, this is the vision of the Spirit. Serve life....give yourself to Love.

A tiny thought that graced my mind as I was drinking Kombucha (Gingerade) and mustering up the nerve to face the Kundalini mat. I am moving on...

Aries Rising in Gratitude

Aries Horoscope ~ Week of November 15th


I love it when you forget all your troubles and get lost in thoughts about your friends' problems. I love it when you place your entire focus on the heat steaming from your cup of coffee or on the sun reflecting on a puddle or on the mysterious expression gracing the face of a stranger. In fact I love it whenever you prove how much you love being here on earth by taking your attention off yourself, and giving it to everything else. The coming week will be a perfect time to specialize in this consummate art.

http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/

I checked my horoscope this morning before getting out of bed. I am sooo ready to forget all my petty troubles and get lost in thoughts about yours. Perfect, Aminga calls...meltdown underway...I tell her grow up, stand up...what would a woman standing in her worth do? Yes I am ready to move beyond myself and my self-absorbed fascination with my fears and be fully present with life, with you...with each moment. I am taking this on as a practice for the next week leading up to Thanksgiving. I am becoming a woman who is fully present in joy and in gratitude for life and with her life. I am ready to demonstrate how much I love being here on this gorgeous blue and green planet by giving myself fully to everything and everyone that arrives. I am practicing gratitude in the midst of, in the presence of my life.

I feel like making a list this morning...things I want to give myself to this next week:

• Creating a loving, nurturing, passionate, succulent, inviting, nourishing, enlivening home.
• Loving Gary, being gentle and aware, leaving well.
• Dancing in joy with my Beloveds as much as possible -- literally, figuratively.
• Celebrating Jimmy's arrival in Portland...his new adventure, welcoming him warmly.
• Bringing a provocative, inspired message to the community at CSL this Sunday.
• Nurturing Angela in whatever way that appears, co-creating Thanksgiving with her.
• Appreciating my Mom for all of her growth, love and support.
• Comforting Jack, he gets so worried when I move!
• Supporting Lisa as she prepares to leave for her Hawaiian adventure.
• Loving Aminga as she steps up and into her worth.
• Connecting with family and friends I haven't talked to, expressing love.
• Making love rituals each day to celebrate the connection with life, with my Beloveds.
• Inspiring Nichole with generous love...sweet and tough...to move forward, take action.
• Finding time for inspiration, creation, connection with Dr. D-Eros...engaging the mystery of what wants to be created in our midst?
• Baptizing my new bathtub with blessing salts, candles and my gorgeous body (an assignment from Aminga to stop being so critical of my temple).
• And any other giving of myself and my life force that results in more radiant and ecstatic loving and living!

I invite you to join me this next week in a ritual of present moment living...finding gratitude and joy in the midst, in the moment and moving beyond any self-absorbed fascinations with your fears, your shadow, your limitations. For this next week let us fully give ourselves to love and see what glorious love madness and unimaginable miracles we can make!

Shall we?

(By the way, you all can talk back now ya hear? Leave a comment, talk back!)

One Door Opened, One Door Locked

I went to my new home tonight after writing class. I had a bunch of friends follow me and we walked through each room together. Aminga laughing, smiling..."this is going to be soooooo much fun Anakha!" I have the key on my ring. I am moving forward. I am standing still. I am looking back.

After our visit to the Ladd's Addition house, Nichole and I drove Peter home to Tualatin and stopped for gas along the way. At 11 p.m. we finally headed for home. Zach had been at the house earlier in the day working on a computer program for his class. We agreed that he would leave the house keys in one of the shoes on the front porch. Nich and I get home, arms loaded with stuff...I bend down, reach my hand into the shoe..no key, I turn the shoes over, praying that somehow a key will materialize. No keys. I call Zach...no answer, I call again, no answer, I call again...they turned the phone off. &*&@)!*&^%%$ Both Nich and I have to pee...really bad. Okay, that's taken care of now what? I ask her to go with me down the steps and along the back side of the house. It's dark and we only have a tiny flashlight that she keeps in her purse. "I bet there's a raccoon back here Anakha." Thanks Nichole. We inch our way along in the dark...looking for a way in. Nichole tries a screen, thinks a window may be unlocked. We are in luck...she pops the screen and opens the window. Jack pops his head out...probably wondering why we didn't use the door. Nichole crawls in. I laugh and say, "sometimes it pays to know a felon!" We laugh together. {I love that we can joke about that. Seems like an important part of healing.}

I find it interesting that on the same night that I pick up my new keys, the old ones are gone...nowhere to be found. I have passed through the threshold. I am living a new life.
I am beginning again. There is no turning back. Yes, when one door opens, another closes.

I bless my past, I stand in the present, I create my future. Moving starts tomorrow....sweet dreams!

Move It!

Move it, move on, move up, move out. I am moving this week. It seems as if I have just barely surfaced from the depths and now it is time to move -- literally. And even though this move will only take me across town, NW to SE...I know this is symbolic of much greater movement occurring within me. This is the move to full aliveness, vitality, joy, abundance, radiance, creativity, service, union. I am leaving the comfort zone, the holding pattern, the safe house and I am leaping into the great unknown. I am 99.9% excited. The .1% is the result of trying to grab hold of the steering wheel again. There are no guarantees in life...it is a daring adventure, or nothing at all. I think that is what Helen said, right?

Jimmy closes on the house tomorrow and has arranged for me to pick up the keys and begin moving in. He will arrive from Ashland on Friday. We'll spend the weekend creating "home" and shopping for whatever furniture the house may need -- a bed for his room, a table for the breakfast nook, etc. We will spend Thanksgiving in the "sacred heart sanctuary" (my name for the house) with his daughter Angela and her boyfriend Nick. It was just 2 years ago that Linda was murdered -- Jimmy lost his best friend and former wife, Angela, her mother. This also seems important and symbolic that we will be together in this new place to celebrate Thanksgiving this year. Jimmy is family...we are family...soul family. It doesn't fit any of the traditional forms...it just is. Love is strangely beautiful that way. It is all inclusive, all encompassing, radical and formless.

Please know that the sacred heart sanctuary is a place where you can come and stay if you need a place to be while in Portland...that is part of Jimmy's vision. It is a place to gather in the spirit of the Beloved Community. It is where I will begin again, anew. It is the terra firma from which I will leap, fly and soar. I am grateful for my life. I am grateful for the love in my life. I am grateful for the generosity of friends. I am ready to come home...all the way home. Amen.

Mad with Love

another surge of ecstatic love
is moving through me
through my heart
spiraling in my core
i am being opened
into a new state of love
falling
opening
surrendering
bending
arching
heart slayed
open
a tender incision
cutting through my chest
exposing the raw
pulsing
expanding
naked heart
i am so in love
so in this love
this ecstatic love
an indescribable state
of being
inseparable from love itself
the lover and the loving
are one strand of
God
living in our DNA
ready to burst forth
activated by our
whole hearted
surrender
into becoming love
my prayer has been answered
heed the call to love
become love
burn me in the fires of love
resurrect me in the newness
of a life born from love
i am a child of the Divine
born from Love's promise
where two or more are gathered
I AM
i am the lover who makes love
with everyone
everyone
all of life
is loving and adoring
all of life is in a dance
of mutual attraction
and allurement
oh what craziness it is
to seek a lover
when the real invitation
is to become love itself
why do I dance with fear
when love is my nature
it is my song
it is the destiny
and the design
of my living
I am radiant love
I am ecstatic presence
I am the lover and the loving
We are living in sacred union
You and I in a passionate embrace
Never leaving one another
We cannot
We will not
We are threads in the cloth
of the most Holy
We are grains of sand in
the ocean of God
We are the Lovers
Rip open your chest
Expose your naked heart
Tremble in front of the True Beloved
Shake into nothingness
And become this
Sacred Love
I dare you to become mad
Go insane
and there,
on the other side of the edge you are
standing on, you are clinging to
you will meet me
This place is only for the
fearless
Those that dare to look fear in its face
and dive, jump, fly, soar
all at once
into the open arms
of the True Beloved.
Alaha Huba,
Anakha

Free Falling

It's quiet this morning. I am sitting alone on the couch looking out at the Columbia River, the sun is shining through the trees, the sky is light blue, a few small clouds linger in the sky. This may be my last weekend here at the Saltzman house -- the Ladd's Addition home will be ready this week. Gary's kids -- Zach and Ivy -- are here this weekend. Ivy is reading a book called Living in Grace. I picked it up Friday night to a section called, "the sin of self-sufficiency." I asked Ivy about what the sin of self-sufficiency was, she answered, "it's when we think we can do it all on our own, without God's help."


Aaaaah, yes that sin! I am very well practiced at that one. I have always prided myself on being super responsible...overly responsible and in that I often forget that it is "my job" to declare what I want, my deepest heart's desires, where I am intending to go and it is the "Divine's job" to attend to the how and the when. I need only listen for the vision the Holy Spirit is moving through me, to catch a thread of the inspiration rising in my heart, to trust the piece of the sand-dollar I have picked up from the ocean's floor, to energize the passion that has arrived and trust that more will be revealed as I move forward in faith.


The sin of self-sufficiency. Sin, to miss the mark, self-sufficiency, to be dependent on the self. How often have I missed the mark when I have held so tightly to my self-made image of self sufficiency, of independence, of being able to do it on my own? The truth is we all need a power greater than ourselves to make it through the twists and turns of this life. We all need a Divine infusion of courage, faith, and hope to make it through the darkness. We all need a belief in a vision greater than our eyes can see to take the first step in faith towards the precious dreams we hold in the deepest core of our hearts.


We all need God, we all need Divine Guidance, we all need one another.


I have noticed that I have been trying to figure out the "how" of my life in my mind the last few days. How this and that are going to work out. What I can do, what I should do....do do do do do do. This mind madness squeezes all the beauty out of the life that is unfolding in front of me. It constricts the flow of creativity in my life and blinds me to the awesome mystery that is arriving moment to moment. I don't have control of my life. I am out of control. The Divine is driving, I am a passenger in the car...shouting my advice...turn here, go right, slow down, watch out for the light. I don't have control. Someone else is driving the car, it feels purposeful this journey, a direct connection from A to B. I want to surrender my attempts to grab the wheel, to appear to myself and others as having it together, a sure-fire plan for self-sufficiency.

I don't have any sure-fire, risk-free plan to present. No PowerPoint slides marked with tidy timelines, deliverables and key results. Gone are the days of Intel and my corporate controlled illusions. I am a freelancer now, working out God's plan in the details of my life. The only sure-fire plan for me today is to be fully present, to listen, to speak truth, to love, and to continuously surrender to the greater vision God is unfolding in my life.


This is what I know today. My heart is opening and softening and I am learning how to love, I am becoming love. I am devoted to this path of embodied love, of Christed love --walking it, sharing it, teaching it, speaking it. I am wanting to experience more intimacy in my life -- with my own Soul, dreams, creativity and inner most depths. I am wanting more intimacy with my friends, my family, my community, my Beloveds. I am wanting to connect in joy and in delight-filled play and to experience life, the full radiance and aliveness of this life we share. I am wanting to share my gifts -- to give, to receive. I am wanting a life of radiant love and ecstatic presence.

I am radiant love and I am ecstatic presence.

I am wanting to write, to speak, to teach about the Naked Heart, about sacred intimacy, sacred passion, sacred union, sacred action. I want this for me, I want this for you, I want this for humanity. Naked Heart living, naked heart loving.


Today I will remember and practice the state and the quality of being called the Naked Heart. I will guard the wellspring of my heart from the madness of my mind and its crazy attempts to convince my heart to doubt, to despair, to constrict, to control. (One of my favorite scriptures, Ephesians 4:23 "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.") I will surrender to the knowledge and the Truth that God is on the playing field of my life, the director of all things unseen, the driver, the car, the road...the passenger...all God, all good.

Today, I will let my teacher be love itself.
Today, I will let the soft goodness of God guide me
Today, I will let Love create, shape and unfold me
Today, I surrender the wheel, I lean back, look out the window and enjoy the ride?

Where are my red vines?
I am falling love with you.
Amen.

Shake Your Love Maker

Good morning Lovers!

It's 6:23 a.m. and I am up after just a few short hours of rest. I am feeling inspired to write about the dinner party last night celebrating my mother's 65th year on the planet. Happy Birthday Mom! What a joyous celebration of life and love. Pomegranates, bouquets, candlelight, chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate, scallops, shrimp, polenta, cheese and chocolate cake graced the long dark table. Faces lit with love framed the rim -- Angela, Latosha, Nichole, Gary, Gene, Lisa, Anakha, Karen....Jack. Each of us took our turn speaking our love and gratitude into the center, filling the space in between with our love breath, delicious sweetness held in the eyes and gifted to one another so generously.

Latosha showed me her new dance moves and I shared the latest Kundalini poses. Lisa jumped in and challenged me to do push-ups with a clap in between...alright...I made it to 6. Jack was tenacious with his ball and would not stop tossing it on the table for someone to throw. He sensed the high energy and followed our lead with his Jack Russell antics.

What's on my mind this morning? Weaving love. We are the love weavers of the world. With our eyes, with our voice, with our walking and our talking, with our speaking and our reaching, with our seeing and our tasting, with our touching and our breathing...each and every moment we have the power and the presence to spin a web of love, of magic, of mystery. Weaving hearts together one precious and magical moment at time. Paying attention to the essential between us that wants to be tended, fanned, encouraged and shared.

I am becoming a love weaver. I am becoming radiant presence. I am wanting to bring you along with me as I dive deeper into Love's mysteries and find ever more powerful ways to penetrate illusion, fear and resistance and deliver the touch that will turn your heart to liquid gold. I want to melt you in this fire. I want to hold you down until you surrender your truth. The one that lives in your root, in your pelvis, in your core. I want to feed you sweet fruit and honey wine elixir. I want to drown you in love, so you finally and all at once surrender to the true lover that you are. We are the lovers and we are the weavers. On this 6th day of November let us move out into the world and bring our deep and radiant love presence to every person we encounter. Let us open and be fed by the beautiful colors of fall...nature is here to deliver us into ever greater, increasingly expansive and ecstatic states of bliss. Today let us be fed by the radiant life force. Let us become love-manna for our brothers and sisters.

As my Beloved Yeshua commanded us, "det haboon had l'had akyana d'ena ahabtekoon."
Let us love each other as the One is loving us. Let us be overflowing with love today, drenched in compassion, come alive with core passion.

And always, always remember to shake your groove thing...yeah, yeah!

XO,
A

For Those About to Rock...

The Fires are burning
So reach for me

like the petals of a rose

bloom in its season

gentle and slow

my body is the mountain

the ocean, the river

the sand and the soil

the life giver

so come on now, my friend

speak to me, help me understand

let us walk together

take my hand and we will
we will heal this land

Do you hear the call?

We will heal this land

If you could only believe.....

I had a beautiful dance this morning to this song by Tina Malia at Sacred Circle Dance...mm...mmm...it was really good (thank you David). I was blessed to meet Tina this summer in Ashland and attend one of her concerts. I highly recommend her music...she is a mystic and has written many of her songs from her own dark night experiences.

I am so grateful tonight, so incredibly blessed to be alive. So incredibly blessed to have made it through this dark night, to have made it through the fire. I am smiling and laughing today and I am happy. I am surfacing from the depths, coming up slowly, emerging in joy. I am coming with delight, the Light. What a trip, what an outrageous trip these last 4 months have been -- the highs, the lows and everything in between. And it ain't over yet! In fact it has only just begun.

I have been thinking about the law of attraction and chemicalization today. These laws say that when we claim something powerful for our lives, when we stand in the full truth of who we are and what we intend for our lives...the earth begins to shake and quake beneath us. For awhile our new intention or claiming may feel good and easy and powerful, but if the mountain is to move...sooner or later the earth that we are standing on is going to have to shake, break, quake. "Disrupt the dream," as my teacher Vinn used to say to me, "get rattled."

When we set out to have a totally new experience in our lives, what we are really doing is raising our vibration to attract that new experience. And, whatever doesn't resonate with that new vibration is going to have to go -- patterns, behaviors, addictions, people, places, things, beliefs, ideas, etc. This requires that we LET GO and it means that sometimes we have to let go of things (and people) we have wanted...let loose of the lesser to receive the greater. Emmet Fox describes the healing process of chemicalization:
It seems as though everything begins to go wrong at once. This may be disconcerting, but it is really a good sign. Suppose your whole world seems to rock on its foundation. Hold on steadily, and let it rock, and when the rocking is over, the picture will have reassembled itself into something much nearer to your heart's desire.

I set out this July to become love, to awaken my sacred heart and to stand in the truth of the mystic, lover, healer, artist and author that I am. What got served up this last month was exactly what has been in the way of fully embodying those truths. I have been immersed in the darkness, in deep grief, despair and doubt. I stayed in and with this experience, even when I wanted to abort the entire mission. I dove deeper, penetrating the illusion until at last I arrived at the lie that has been constricting my essence, keeping my deepest dreams from spilling forth and manifesting as my life, as my work and as my relationships. The core lie was revealed this past Thursday, caught on tape as Gene filmed Crystal and I interacting. There it was, it dropped out of my mouth. I have lived 37 years with this demon twisting its thorns into the soft flower of my core. It is gone now, surrendered to God, revealed in the Light...like the wicked witch it is melting, melting, melting away under the loving glance of the Beloved.

I am whole. I am beautiful. I am love. I am here now. And I am ready to begin again.

Thank God for the quaking, for the stripping, for the lashing. Thank God for disrupting the dream.

Are you willing to be shaken, disrupted, rattled and stirred up? How long are you willing to endure the fiery depths of the healing crucible? Would you be willing to be blown up for one day, one week, one month, one year if it meant that at the end of that time you would be living the life that you have been dreaming of?

Dive in Beloveds...let the foundation shake, let loose of the lesser to become the greater.

For those about to rock fire...for those about to quake...for those about to rattle...

I salute you!

In Glorious Love,

Anakha

The Scent of the Sacred

"Spiritual love is wine and fragrance.
Those nearby also enjoy it from those that are anointed."

~ The Gospel of Philip ~

Today I sat down with three large journals filled with writings and drawings from my silent retreat this summer. It was the first time that I had read them since I returned in August. It was like opening a sacred text written specifically for me. I am amazed and in awe of what transpired this summer and at what beautiful truths came spilling out onto those pages. I am overwhelmed at the magnitude and the perfection. I am dazed, stunned...unsure of what it all means and how to translate them into something useful for the Beloveds that will read these alchemical words and be transformed.

I was reminded again today of who I am. I am radiant love. I am a Christian mystic. I am a Lover of God and a servant of the Sacred Heart. I carry the gifts (bestowed and confirmed by Yeshua during the holy sacrament of confirmation) of the Beloved Community, the mystical map to union, the clairs (voyant, sentient, audient), deep compassion for the lost sheep ("my girls"), prophetic voice, capacitance for high alchemy, revealer of mystical truth. I am here to expose the sacred heart...my own and yours, I am here to break open into Love's presence. If you care to journey with me, you too will be stripped naked, broken open, dissolved, dismantled, disrobed, disarmed...you too will undergo this Christic transformation. That is the nature of Christ's love...and yes, we will do these things and those far greater, all that is required is that we follow the map of crucifixion, resurrection, ascension and pentecostal birthing...a full life embodiment.

The one question that is holding me here on the planet and propelling me forward through this dark night, through this time of resurrection...is, how do I become love? How do I become the Christic love that my Beloved Yeshua demonstrated during his short life on the planet? How do I embody a radiant love that is alchemical in presence and in word. I am burning to become radiant love. I am aching to liberate every soul in my presence. Why else live? Why else endure and persevere? I can think of only one answer and that is to undergo the transformations that will lead me directly into the holy fires of Love.

This love, by its very nature, strips us to the core and reveals Love's pulsing, beating, vibrating pleading, bleeding presence. The naked heart, the open heart, the revealed heart. This love has no form and requires no definition. It is beyond the puny desires of romance -- I am yours and you are mine. It is beyond the neurotic dance that so called lovers do on this earth. This love penetrates the heart, expands the heart and blows the heart wide open into life. It is vital, it is ferocious, it is blazing with an intention of its own -- an intention that requires full donation, full abandonment, full devotion to becoming love.

This fire requires that we grow into lovers that can hold expansive space for our Beloveds, loving, compassionate, devoted, clear space. It requires that we hold ourselves in such high worth that we can allow our lovers their own growth, their own transformation, even if it means that it takes them away from our arms and into another's bed. It requires that our hearts radiate and glow with love so that we become expanded in our loving and that loving can lift us beyond the outdated concepts of romance. This love takes no offense. This love is only concerned with the liberation of the other, that they may taste the bliss of their liberated soul, that they may embody and live the ecstatic Presence. We must build a fire in our hearts, in our bellies, in our pelvis'...a blazing, radiant wildfire that will go beyond any form and any idea of loving. This love carries the potency and has the capacity to reach into the core of our Beloved and in a holy instant free them of the bondage, melt the prisons of fear and bring them face to face with the One. We must become this fragrant love, we must carry the scent of the sacred, we must dissolve into the honey wine elixir of sacred love. It is in our radiant presence that our beloved will die to the false self and resurrect into the divine human self. We are this honey sweet nectar, we are here to feed one another, to resurrect one another and to carry one another home. All the way home.

This is what Yeshua referred to as the Beloved Community and he gave John three vows 1) Love one another 2) Feed the sheep -- become nourishment for one another, feed one another with Love. 3) Be the sacred womb (the Divine Feminine) in the world for one another, the arms of compassion, the heart of nurturing. During my retreat I was given the directive to begin the Beloved Community -- a community charged with the intention of inflaming one another with Divine Love. This community is led by the Holy Spirit and we tap into inspired guidance through our collective listening. We are being prepared to begin this journey and will soon join in this intention.

I yearn to share the radical and burning experience of Christ's love. I am a vessel for the fire of the Holy Spirit. I am ready to make a full commitment, to be completely donated and abandoned to this mission of becoming sacred love and bringing as many souls as possible into its holy fire, to call us to the banquet of the Beloved, to bring us to the temple of mystical treasures, to restore the kingdom, to bring the garden of Eden back.

Strip down
Disrobe
Pull your chest from your chest
Reveal the Sacred Heart
Pierced with grief
Pulsing with joy
The Sacred Heart revealed
Bleeding
Glowing
Extending
Vibrating
Pulsing
Naked
Red, hot trembling
Spiraling
Touching into you
Extending beyond the personal
To the cosmic loving
Allurement
Adoration
Devotion
Beyond form
Beyond attraction
Beyond anything we have known
Burning away the lesser
Revealing the greater
Yeshua and Magdala
The holy guides
The Lovers that live beyond our small ideas
They are the ones that know the way
of Sacred Union
Where two or more are gathered
Knowing God through sacred union
All of our explorations into tantra, erotica
are child's play compared to the
mysteries revealed in this union
We are playing with toys in the store
When we could be drinking from the chalice
Burning in the crucible
Dancing in the temple
This is my direction
This is my devotion
And I don't care who comes
And I don't care who thinks I've gone mad
I am mad with Love
My heart ruined by your Presence
Broken open I become love
Come, don't come
It matters not
My destination...the Beloved
The way of Sacred Union
Yeshua, Magdala
Holy Spirit
Maranatha
Allaha Huba
Ameyn.

Loving What Is...

I am grateful tonight. Grateful for my life. Grateful for truth-telling. Grateful that I love myself enough to fully love and embrace what is. Deep acceptance is washing over me, sweeping through my heart, my belly, swirling in my eyes. I wear the good look of compassion. Compassion for myself and all the lovers in the world, doing their very best to walk the path with integrity, courage and purpose. I have made it through the storm. I am resting on the shore. The tsunami has passed. I am alive. I am here. I am one. I am love. And I am ready to step forward into the greatest expression of who I am. I accept what is. I accept and bless my past. I accept and bless my present. I accept and bless my future. I am ready. No settling for half-assed commitments, watered down truths, luke-warm loving. I am ready for the full throttle, unbound, undiluted, unrestricted experience of life and of love.

Let us begin again. Let us begin again, together. Let us love and embrace the situations and experiences that are here now. Let us begin loving what is.

;-) A