Kissed by God

One trip to the mailbox on Thursday evening sent me spiraling into the past...into my past...into my family dynamics -- the roles, the secrets, the illusions, the projections, the denial...it was all served up on a silver platter for me to look at, to choose from, to taste, to eat, to ingest and digest. All of this arrived in a legal-sized envelope delivered to my "doorstep." I am happy, actually thrilled, to report that I didn't eat the whole meal...that I took a few bites and that was enough to chew on for the last few days and in the midst of the chewing and reviewing, the praying and the swaying I was brought into a new awareness and I arrived at a choice point.


I believe this is what I have been writing about the last several weeks...toilet water or perfume, the glass ceilings of inherited consciousness, tribal fusion (really, tribal confusion!) versus God-given belonging in the Kingdom. It is true...we can't serve two masters...limited tribal consciousness or expanded Divine consciousness. I believe that this is the essence of what Yeshua was referring to when he said, which I paraphrase, "Unless you who are following me are prepared to hate your mother, father, wife, children, brothers and sisters, you might as well go home. Unless you are ready to turn your backs on the people who are closest to you, you cannot be my follower." Then he added, "You also have to hate your own life, your very self, your own thoughts, judgments, hang-ups." (Luke 14:25-33). By "hate" I believe what Yeshua intended (I doubt there is an Aramaic word for hate) that we must depart from, leave behind and at some level yes, reject and deny the consciousness of our families, of the world and our own limited personas to follow the way of radical change and radical love and radical passion that He was inviting us into. We must not fall prey to the "sins of the father" but find liberation in choosing to inhabit the Kingdom consciousness where we are free to be as we truly are, as the I AM.


Yeshua goes on to say that to be a disciple of the high-vibe LOVE consciousness, the Christ Consciousness, that we must lay the blueprint for our lives...we must determine the foundation on which we want to build our "house." Will it be on quicksand or on rock? We are invited to reflect on what kind of a foundation is required for committing to this path of becoming love, of becoming God in human form, of bringing the sacred into the active, the mystical into the mundane, of giving birth...wild, crazy, mystical birth to the Self of the I AM. What foundation, what building will become home to the Christ within each of us?


To build this foundation we will be required to depart from the past, depart from the beliefs, roles and entanglements of our families, the values and consensus reality of the culture and the monsters lurking in the dark corners of our own minds. A departure, a leaving, a stepping forward into requires that we move from where we have been to where we want to be. Kris King, one of my teachers from 12 years ago, once said, "If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you are pissing on the moment!" How true that is! How often have we had one foot moving forward and one foot refusing to leave the past...trapped in playing the role, the showing up in a worn-out costume, playing the same old victim games and wasting the precious present. The birth of the Christ within us requires that we be here now, fully, wholly, holy. It requires that we leave those "mean-spirited roadhouses" and step into the Kingdom, the place of our true inheritance, and to live as I AM.


This quote from Hildegard of Bingen beautifully captures the essence of our arrival at this choice point...the "great divide":


We cannot live in a world that is not our own, in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not a HOME. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening, to use our own voice, to see our own light.


What does this mean for each of us at this moment in time? And how do we face the resistance both internally and externally that is inevitable as we being extracting ourselves and pulling ourselves out of this homeostasis?

These are questions for each of us to take into our spiritual practice for reflection and for deep listening and most importantly for the Holy Spirit's guidance. Here is what I am learning today...again...anew...

Foundation: Reflect on what foundation is required to inhabit the I AM that you are; fully, creatively, passionately? What master are you committing to serve? What are the blueprints, the dimensions, the materials that are required to build your "house"?


Departure: What roles, beliefs, identities, patterns are you willing to depart from and that you will serve no longer? What relationships (with family, culture, self, friends, etc.) are you willing to offer up to the fires of transformation and purification? Which ones are dead, and have been for a long time, that deserve a proper burial?


Stand: What is the Sacred Ground within yourself on which you will stand? What is this new foundation...what are you claiming to be your Truth that will serve as its cornerstones? What is your "yes" and what is your "no". Become clear of your own personal ecology...what is the stand that will ensure that the house gets built?


Surrender: Pray unceasingly, offer this movement, this destruction and construction, this departure and arrival, this stand and this surrender...offer it up to the Grand Architect, Our Dearly Beloved One. This is a radical change of a dimension, depth and daring that we should not attempt to control and manage it...it requires that we dive off the edge of the cliff, knowing that we will be given new wings. This departure, this stand, this profound movement forward requires the Full Presence ~ God, GodSelf and Beloved Community.

I could write for days about this and I won't attempt to fit it all into one entry! Whew, I know you are probably as relieved as I am! I will close now and work this process with commitment, care and compassion! Join me if you'd like!

I am so grateful for this process, I am so grateful for the Kiss of God that woke me from the slumbertrance and frozenterror of the past and is delivering me to the I AM of my Self and opening wide the doors to the Kingdom which is my home. I serve the Master of Unbridled, Radical Love. In the words of Hildegard, "Be not lax in celebrating. Be not lazy in the festive service of God. Be ablaze with enthusiasm. Let us be an alive, burning offering before the altar of God." Amen.

A big love embrace to my beloved community! Write me back...write us back!

XXOO,
Anakha