Vertigo Matte

{Warning: this is a sprawling, rambling blog...the kind that happens when you have had little sleep for 2 weeks because of the outrageous divine energy that is running through your life...the kind that happens when you haven't been blogging for day...so, I kind of sort of apologize, but not really..."you have been warned!"}

I keep hearing the lyrics to Diana Ross's song Upside Down playing through my mind. Everything in my life is turning, turning upside down, inside out. What was, isn't...what wasn't, is. This is one of the greatest turnings of my life. I am turning inward, outward, upward.

There is no turning back. I am turning into love.

Last night John (that's John sitting in my yellow chair, wearing the grapes on his head!) and I shared an Indian meal at Vindalho in the SE Clinton District after dancing the chaos of bliss or the bliss of chaos or some interesting juxtaposition of chaos and bliss at Wednesday night ecstatic dance. Before yesterday I could count the number of sentences John and I had exchanged on one hand. John owns the Old Stone Church in Bend -- the church that I have been speaking at for several years now. Our hearts collided last Sunday. He came up at the end of my talk...and all I can remember is seeing this open, open heart pouring out love...it was if love was oozing from his pores.

This is what happens when we dare to tell ourselves the truth...when we dare allow the Truth to shatter the sweet and comfortable life we have built that has now become our prison...when we allow our hearts to be blown open...shattered in love, as love, for love. This is what happens when we stop playing at life and decide to live it fully. This is what happens when love comes to town...everything, absolutely everything that keeps us from love arrives with an urgent request to be donated to the fire, to be burned to ash so that Love's Phoenix can rise.

John is one of the rare souls on this planet who has surrendered to the ecstasy and the agony of Love. He is burning in the fire...experiencing the sweet agony of love expanding and blowing out the casings of his beautiful, bold and brilliant heart. And in his presence, and in that divine alchemy that he is swimming in...I too was expanded, my mind blown from being stretched to carry seemingly opposing points...the beauty of the paradox, the mysteries of love.

We had a 24 hour conversation...I might even say metafusion, mindsoulheart communion...that catapulted me back out into an alchemical orbit. These days it seems that I am colliding with other souls at an increasingly high speed and when we collide there is fusion and in that fusion life whips me around, turns me upside down, shakes me loose, rips me open and everything changes, absolutely everything changes. I am being catapulted from reality to reality. Through the eye of the needle into experiencing more and more of the Kingdom of Heaven. If I didn't know better I'd think that someone was spiking my Kombucha...the electric kool-aid acid trip. This experience of the collision of souls, this exchange of Presence reminds me of Jung's quote, "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

Yeah baby, that is what is happening....a quantum chemical reaction between Lovers...and I do mean the Big L...Lovers.

I think this is what the new era is all about...showing up, naked, open...embodying the Presence, exchanging essence, experiencing radical transformations where two or more are gathered in the Name. That name is Love. Big Love. Big Fucking Love. And it will blow your mind and it will shatter all the illusions of who you are and what you are supposed to be, and how you are supposed to act, and who you are supposed to love, and how to love, and where to go and what you exist for. It will strip you of that carefully composed...artificially made identity and leave your writhing naked in the ecstasy that descends when you burn, when you burn, when you finally surrender...then you burn. Every fucking thing you have held onto to keep yourself safe, secure, protected, will be shredded. Everything will be called into the fire. Every lie you have lived, every lie you have told will show its face and be dissolved in the presence of truth.

I have been one of those people...masked, shrouded, high-security system, walls, barriers...you might even say I have had a receiving deficit. That has all changed now...I am a receiving mecca...ready to receive all the Good, all the Love that God and her sweet Universe have to offer. I am ready be in a perfect dance of giving and receiving Love, where the giver and the receiver meld into one sacred spiral of blessing.

John is teaching me about telling the truth. He said today, "we think others can't handle our truth...but they can." We can live in truth, we can thrive in truth...we are wired for truth...anything else weakens our life force, destroys the precious love force that wants to course through us...have its way with us. How can anyone love us...how can we love ourselves, if we constantly tuck away the most delectable and the most detestable parts that make us the precious ruby gem that we are?

Love will have its way...that is for certain, some day...sooner or later...love is going to find you. And when She does, She is going pin you down and penetrate you with Her soul piercing gaze. The hot and fierce passion of a woman determined, a woman devoted, a woman whose heart has been burned in the fires of Love. And when He finds you, He is going to cradle you, sing you love songs until everything hard and brittle falls away and all that is left is your honey wine soul, your loosened heart, your lover's body.

We are melting into Presence,
Overflowing Effervescence
We are rising in Love.
We are Awakening.

I am.
We are.

Talk to me people...please, I am hungry for your naked heart exposure.
Fan my flame with your heart's deepest truth.

xo,
RevA