Tender, we are all truly so tender. Our hearts, when naked, unguarded and revealed, are so very tender. There are so many layers covering the naked, sacred heart. So many disappointments and heartbreaks. These layers numb us -- our passion, our connection, our purpose. Frozen grief turns disappointment to stone paralyzing the soft, velvety center of our hearts. I am aware today and more and more these days of how precious the lifelines that connect us to one another actually are. We are more vulnerable than we'd like to admit to the actions and inactions of our brothers and our sisters. In our ivory towers we claim peace and perfection. I say come dance in the streets with the despair and desolation. We are collectively shrouded in a blanket of shame. This is what stands between us and the embodied experience of our oneness and our unity. Our attempts to uphold our superiority are only sophisticated disguises for our own pain, our own despair and feelings of worthlessness, powerlessness. This is the story of our "occupation" in Iraq.
I wish to heal this war. The war within, the war without. I wish to disrobe in front of my beloveds and to begin to lift this blanket of shame so that we may truly experience the oneness -- the one mind, the one heart, the one life -- that I know exists and that I hunger to experience in thought, in feeling, in breath, in body.
None of this makes sense...I am reaching...I am reaching for an answer. I am begging for an insight, a vision that can make sense of the separation I see. I keep hearing the song War is Love..."war is love, when love breaks down." I don't wish to sugarcoat and to spin worthless affirmations about our oneness when the war continues. I wish to see, to truly see what stands between me and love, what stands between you and I and our sacred unity. What needs to be addressed, dissolved, burned to the ground so we can see the wholeness carried in the shape of the moon?
I am tired of a child's play spirituality that claims truths and fails to examine and take 100% responsibility for what lies between that truth and the full embodied experience of it in the relationships and circumstances of our lives and our living.
What I am really wanting to say is, if we want peace on this planet in our lifetime it is time to wake up to the violence we enact day to day by our action and our inaction. By our refusal to see how one hurtful comment, one held back word of praise can change the course of our whole evolution into love. We are at a point in time when we must walk the razor's edge of integrity in our consciousness and in our actions. It is time to heed the call to love and that means to heed the call to heal what stands between us and love.
I don't care if you have managed to create some level of perfection and protection in your own life when just beyond your front door is despair, madness, desolation. We must take responsibility for it all. It is our creation and it is ours to heal.
I find myself wanting to apologize for this cloudy and inarticulate call to awareness, to tenderness and to love. I want my heart to expand and be host to love. I want my vision to expand to hold this separation within the greater oneness. I am grateful for being disoriented in this quest and questioning. I have no answers. I am baffled at how we could have come so far off track in living the one commandment that all religions agree on..."love one another."
Are you willing to move off your well protected states of peace and well-being and allow yourself to become disrupted for the sake of love in the world? Wake up. It's time to wake up. I've been asleep. It's time to wake up now. In the words of Melissa Etheridge..."I am not an island, I am not alone..."
Living in the awareness of the fragility of the human heart...
Ameyn.
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2 comments:
You ARE healing the wars that impact us. Your fierce desire to be whole, to be open, to be Love...has immense ripple effects.
Yeah, it's time for all of us to grow up. I've certainly felt that for myself recently.
No need to apologize for your lack of clarity now. After years and decades of lofty aspirations and affirmations, of claiming the full light of our true natures, we are in the official "deep shit" of whatever thwarts those truths...individually and collectively.
Thank you for your courage and your passion...whether you feel clear and centered or not. That helps...a lot.
Inspired I wrote this to post all over the NET BLOGS and web pages!!
But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned for me by the Lord Jesus-the work of telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love.., Acts 20:24
The first thing I think of when I am to post something "about me" is, who is going to read this & what will they think? Directly followed by, who really cares!! Not in who will read my words (because I am directed by the Counselor inside of me 'to write') therefore whom ever reads these words, in this journal, have been led to do so.., "the who really cares" part is more for myself.., I mean, am I here to please man or God? Are we not to be "IN" the world? NOT "OF" the world!! Hence; why should I be concerned with what man thinks? And yet aren't we all to some degree? It's like sin.., Is it worse for me because I spent 21 months at Coffee Creek, then for those who read the word and yet pass right by your neighbor (or family or friend or stranger) and refuse to help, because after all "they made their own bed now they can lay in it..," Is that really what Jesus intended? When He was beaten and spat upon and cursed at and finally shed His Precious Beloved Blood for? So that we in all our sanctification, can justify our 'customized blinders' by judgmentally deciding whom is worthy of our pious help and who is not!!! He says and I quote "And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded"Matt:10;42,..And/or "the Golden Rule' Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Matt 7;12 Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is WRONG, stand on the side of what is GOOD.Rom 12;9..., show me where it says stand back and judge and condemn. Now I don't know about you, but I'm pretty certain Jesus isn't going to walk by the lame, sick or suffering and say " Well if you would've listened to me....,Or Sorry I just don't think I can give you $10, it might run me short, as He goes back and balances His checkbook so He can go buy that new car or put highlights in His hair.., come on get real "what if it were you?? Jesus said "Love one another" NOT "love those that can fend for them selves and look judgmentally on those that took a wrong turn and if it were for just one person saying"ok I know you've tried and failed before, but here let me go ahead and help, let me forgive..," let's see what was that? Once or twice? NO, He said 70 x 7!!How do you know that "this time" may have been "the time?" Are we not responsible for each others souls? You say No!! Best get that Bible out and read it in the daylight or maybe put your reading glasses on..., Sound Passionate do I? Well that's because I've been there!! And done that! I Walked that road and still walk it.., Do I let the condemnation of those who deem themselves better than I, stop my quest for justice for those still suffering?? Not until I draw my last breath! You see I have seen the truly lost and slept beside the ones filled with so much agony and grief for poor choices in their life that their nights are filled with the bitterness of tears muffled in a pillow, lest others hear you and call you weak, in a place where the weak are preyed upon. And, ate with those that could no longer chew or even keep the food down because they had somewhere, somehow, been beat down by the thing they turned to for solace, to numb the pain and not always because it was 'their choice.' At times it is because it is a way of life past on from generations to generations and NO ONE has deemed them worthy of a second look or hand up..,I have laughed with those that are rejoicing in the post card they got in the mail from there sister telling them they saw their child (the one they gave away in their moment of desperation) and he/she was healthy and with a good family.., yes they made mistakes AND THEY, AS I, HAVE PAID AND PAID DEARLY.., the question is Have you?? You want the world to change? You want crime to go down? You want to stand in front of The Savior and say.., "wait what about me? I want to go too? Then take those blinders off and look around.., smile at that woman that looks like she crawled out of the gutter, she probably did! Feed the hungry children.., Help the guy find a job so he can support his family legitimately, instead of sale drugs.., Give that teenager a good "what 4" and some chores and guide them, stop threatening them or holding out the $$ as a reward.., Get your hands dirty.., Jesus washed the disciples feet, he shook the hands of the lepers , He ate with the bums and played with the children and do you honestly think He cared what other people thought? Or if he would have enough left for his retirement.,? When they had no where to lay their heads? I have walked the streets of Hell and been abused there too..,so don't tell me "they get what they deserve" Because in all truth "how do you know?"..... It's not that you have never sinned it's just that yours isn't as bad as mine......................., You want the world to be better? Than stand up and make a difference., It takes action NOT WORDS!! Stop watching me or him or her or them and look in the mirror and say Jesus "what is it you want me to do?" Then stand back and watch as the smile will go from your mouth to your eyes and spread to the next and the next and the next!!.....,Ok..,Ok..,so I may need some help crawling down off this soap box..,But as a wise kind facilitator at Coffee Creek used to say, "It Is what It Is!!"
I have been called to stand in the gap, between those still suffering in the dark and the path that is illuminated by Christ.., I have dedicated my life to being a voice for justice for those who are suffering in silence, until they can find the strength to do it themselves..I am, what I am, because of the choices to take the presumed victory from Satan, by standing IN Truth under The Shelter and answering the calling of My Beloved Savior, Jesus Christ who lived and died, that I might be with Him in all Eternity.., For me..,no second thoughts, no downcast looks or feelings of regret, or shame upon or for me.., He just stretched out His loving arms and died.., and the arose again, For ME!!.............So in saying all this, I invite you, to instead of pointing the finger at me and saying "oh look, at that BIG mistake..,she says she's changed " tsk, tsk.., My invitation is instead of telling a friend or family member 'TELL GOD' and I guarantee He will say " Oh, you mean Veronica? Yes, I know She has already talked to me about it!!" As He shakes His head, with a slight grin on His face and adds " That's My Girl, stubborn independent child of mine.., she keeps trying to do things her way and yet, ALWAYS, comes humbly back to me..,head bowed in submission admitting her mistakes and sins willingly accepting responsibility and ready to do my bidding.., Yes I know her well, that girl of mine."
As the celebrations of Thanksgiving and the Birth of The Savior are upon us, how will you reach out? What will you do to make a difference? Or will you excuse your selfish behavior by saying " I am only one person what difference can I make" Ever heard of the rippling effect? Or " I already gave 29 years ago to that one guy and he abused it" SO WHAT?? DO IT AGAIN!!! After all "there by the grace of God go you."
We have plenty of people right here in America that need your help and mine. The forgotten, the discarded, the shunned. In the prisons, in institutions, on the street, in nursing homes, in your town, down the street, your neighbor, your friend, your relative, your child!! Take the Blinders off, they are right there in front of you!!
God Bless and have a Wonderful Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!!!
Veronica R. Hiatt
Ps. If this has stirred any anger or indignation inside of you..., GOOD!!! Show me how wrong I am! I dare you
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