Friday, January 18, 2008

Late Night with London

It's 12:20 a.m. Friday morning and I am laying on my bed, waiting for my friend James to call from London. I think London is 8 hours ahead. I am going to blog, although I warn you...late night blogging after not sleeping much the previous night can be fuzzy!


Truth, Integrity, Love, Wholeness. These are the words on my tender, open heart tonight. I am learning about integrity and truth...I am learning about being emotionally revealed and naked to myself...acknowledging the feelings and honoring my longings. I am finding an innocence and wholeness in freely acknowledging the truth of my heart and sharing that truth with others, detaching from what others may think, how they might respond...I am letting loose of the control and manipulation of my own experience and allowing my naked heart to feel what it feels, to love what it loves, to desire what it desires. I am fully honoring my authentic experience and allowing others to have theirs. I am finally living the age-old adage, "to thine own self be true." And in living that truth I find I am truly, wholly available to love others in an authentic and honoring way. This is the underlying rhythm of the holy mantra..."I love myself, I love you, I love you, I love myself."

It is now 2:11 a.m. and I just got off the phone with James. We talked about faith, God and the reality of life -- careers, relationship, money. At one point I said to James, "faith is in the details." Yes, faith is in the details. This is where the rubber meets the road. It is beautiful to have a faith in the transcendental God...but here is the rub, can you, will you have faith in an imminent God? The embodied, present in the very details of your latest and greatest challenge type of God? Faith is trusting in the Good of life, the God of life...that is inextricably woven into the exact circumstances of your life -- the relationship, the job search, the financial dilemma. It is in this context that we are called to have a radical faith and know that God is in the details of our lives. We step forward into these experiences with as much faith, and truth and integrity as we can gather and we trust that we will be met with grace, love and beauty -- unexpected miracles. Where else can we really practice an embodied faith except for in the areas of our lives that are most challenging, the situations that have us backed up against a wall, on the edge, trembling and baffled?

I am committed to living a life of embodied faith...where I experiment with how much radical, juicy, logic-defying faith I can fan into flame. I am ready to make a quantum leap in what's possible...to go beyond limited ideas of the collective and move to the edge of unknown. Leap, fly, soar.

I think that these two threads weave a beautiful tapestry...1) Disrobe and become naked to yourself...let yourself have an intimate relationship with your own internal landscape...emotional authenticity....let yourself feel, want, desire, long...and 2) Enact faithful and bold moves in the details of your life...expect to be showered with miracles.

This is the Rx of the now. Reveal the naked mind-heart-soul and leap into the unknown mystery knowing that there is a safety net called Love here now, to catch your fall.

I am so in love.
I am so grateful for this life and all of its mysteries.

In love,
Anakha

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