I Won't Fear Love...

I feel an ache today in my lower belly, an aching, a longing...a pain.
I am aware of how much I have denied my own creative power, my passion and my love for life.
Adoration, allurement, passion, desire...the creative fire that lives in each of us is ready now to become unleashed. This is the energy that will transform our lives and all of the expressions we give rise to. When did we collectively flee this powerful, life-force, native, creative-erotic energy? When did we decide to disassociate and deny its existence? When did we flee from the root of the root of our Souls and take refuge in the mind of logic, reason and control?
We have paid a terrible price for this. I have paid a price for this. Earth and her people are paying a price for this abdication of creative-erotic energy. The denial of this energy...its existence creates and sustains violence. Violence in how we relate to ourselves, others and the planet. It contributes to our disconnection from the natural world...the plants, animals, water, trees, soil...if we are disconnected from our own native nature, our own wildness, our own organic creativity and sexuality...we will also be disconnected from the earth. This is the root of all violence...this distortion and separation from our own beauty, and power, and sexuality, and creativity has taken its toll on our living and our loving.

I have often thought that when we came and "conquered" these lands that have become America...when we robbed her of her Soul and her innate connection to nature, to wildness, to relationship and connectivity...that this is when we as a collective, as a nation, incurred an unimaginable Soul Loss. We dishonored and in many cases slaughtered the stewards of the Soul of this land...the untamed wildness had to be controlled, conquered, hidden.

Our untamed wildness, unbound creativity, and innate sexuality need to be liberated so that they can be in balance and in connection with our wholeness, with our hearts and with the good of the greater whole. Whatever is denied becomes distorted. Whatever is distorted becomes dangerous.

In the masculine this distortion is expressing as addiction, as fascination, as obsession and objectification...pornography, consumption of the feminine as a product to be devoured, and a denial of the masculine heart, sensitivity and vulnerability. This is causing harm to the masculine...this is causing harm to the wholeness of the planet. To reclaim the wildness our men will need to be willing to face this shadow...to go into this darkness and resurrect their hearts, their power, and their sexual wholeness, their full and powerful presence. This is critical to restoring the sacred balance of the feminine and masculine interplay and exchange of essential, life force energy on the planet today.

In the feminine this distortion is expressing as an imbalance in our sexual power...we either overly express our sexuality, using it as a tool to manipulate, to satisfy a need to be loved, to be seen and valued or we deny and mask our feminine sexuality...becoming rigid, hardened and over expressing the masculine which also does much harm to our innate vulnerability, our softness...it masks and covers the radiance that would heal us...and those around us. We must be willing to enter our own darkness, our own fear of being taken advantage of, decimated by the masculine and find the courage to reclaim the voice, the heart and the body of the Sacred Feminine. Her gifts are needed; her radiance, her compassion and her creative potency are what the planet is thirsting for. She is the wellspring of love and adoration that will renew and restore the planet and her famished ones.

I am on the edge of this question, of this issue. Spirit has brought me to this place and to this time and said..."if you want to see love on earth, if you want to awaken the collective sacred heart...you must be willing Anakha to dive into this issue of reclaiming our mystical erotic natures. They must be unified, they must be reconciled, they must find a way to infuse one another with their unique powers and find the exquisite balance that their fusion and their communion create.

This scares me. It is the last thing I feel "qualified" to experience, to express and yet I also know that given my history, my desire, my heart...that I am the one to dive into this question and to help others reclaim themselves as fully alive, fully embodied, divinely human, mystical, erotic beings.

I feel the fear and I hear Sarah McLachlan’s words in her song "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy"

All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love and if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.

I am taking this journey into the mystical erotic, I am fumbling towards ecstasy.
I won't fear love.

Amen.