Letter from Nichole ~ Feb. 6, 2008

I thought you all might like to read the latest letter I received from Nichole...please go to http://www.freeheartfreemind.blogspot.com to read her weekly postings from prison. She is transforming...opening....healing!
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Anakha,

Last night I received a big envelope from Gene. It had his blog along with yours and the comments from Gene, David and Delayne. I sat down on my bunk, took a deep breath and before the words were even read, a tear fell from my eye. I didn't wipe it though, I just let it be a part of me in the moment. I sat there a moment later with my eyes closed taking another deep breath. I exhaled and opened my eyes. I read Gene's first. The re-cap of my "judgment day," sentencing day. Was hard to read, but good also. I need to know my part in this world. What memories I am leaving, what my presence in other's lives is effecting, building, giving, taking receiving.

When I got to yours I stopped and breathed in and out. As I started reading I could hear your voice, see your face...wishing I could. I felt so many different emotions from your words. Love, forgiveness, hope, dreams and awakenings jumped out at me. I was being told in a sense..."wake up Nichole, I am right here, I am not going anywhere, don't run from me, I will always love you."

Anakha thank you for taking the time to share your experience with me. I know I am not alone in this. I still wish I was physically there. Rewinding back a few months would be great. Sometimes it feels like a movie. Have you ever seen the movie "Click" it has Adam Sandler in it. It's really funny. You should rent it. In the movie he can stop, pause, rewind, fast forward. Some features could be good right now...LOL.

I am going to write about what I need, want in regards to our contract...but I don't know how you want it so will start with this:

I need to be called on my bullshit.
Structure
Hugs
Humor
A shoulder to cry on
Encouraged
Sometimes a good shove when I am shying away from a good time
Yoga and running
I need to get a degree
Help with the following through with Isaiah
To know how you think, feel, about potentially bad decisions or situations you feel me slipping into
Lots of advice

I probably have more...so I hope we can start with that. See how it comes together.

I am sending you the canteen order sheets so you know what that looks like. There are two of them. I wish you could see the shoes. They are really cute...pink, black and white Reeboks. How great is that. You know me and my pink! I am missing that and chai tea from Starbucks. I can't have a chai tea until I get to minimum. One year. Wow. Guess what you don't get paid for 4 months over here on medium. That is crazy to me. Do you think I should take vitamins. They are on canteen. Crystal knows about them and what is good. What do you think about me learning a second language, like Spanish. Been thinking about that too. I am really excited about doing something to earn a degree in here. I keep having vivid dreams about all this stuff.

Well I am going to work on my blog. It is amazing to know my story has a voice.

Love always,
Nichole