Ahimsa, Ahimsa, Ahimsa

A still and gentle love occupies my heart this morning as I sit in the silence reflecting on my life and my current "occupation" of embodying sacred love, the path of becoming love. The image I see as I look into my heart is of a soft pink rose spinning in the center of my chest, opening slowly, with tenderness. Some petals are opening, exposing beauty, truth, love...some are clinging to the core, not yet ready to release into the wild unknown that is my life.

I am having a real relationship with myself today -- a naked relationship with my own heart as I sense into the movement of my Soul. I awoke this morning with deep sadness. As I laid in the silence and stillness of the morning I became aware of my fears, of my vulnerabilities, of what it requires to live a life sourced from love and revealed in love. The consequences of living the Naked Heart path.

The more I stand in and commit to fully living my purpose -- to embody radiant love -- the more I am finding myself in relationship with that which blocks the flow of that love...fear, uncertainty, doubt, confusion. In New Thought we are often taught to change our thinking when we are feeling fear or sadness, to think a new thought, to affirm a new reality, to do something to change our current state. In my experience the possibility of true and lasting transformation lies in going into the feeling, understanding it's message and working from within my authentic experience to allow what needs to be opened, to be opened and what needs to be known, to be known, what needs the tenderness of true love, to be tenderly loved. the way to truly transform and embody love is to enter into a direct relationship with that which blocks our awareness and experience of Love's presence. I believe these feelings are messages from our Soul, they have guidance, wisdom and truth embedded within them. Follow the feeling, listen for the message...become free.

I was keenly aware this morning that I had a choice. To push through, perservere, be strong, be disciplined, focus on my intention or to surrender to the deeper, truer call of my Soul. I could get up and put myself through my daily regimen of making fresh juice, kundalini yoga, mediation and writing. Or, I could listen to the deeper call...the call that would take me into direct relationship with myself and God.

I made a different choice today. I decided to have a real relationship with my interior, with the sadness, the despair, the sense of nothingness. I wanted to know her...what is happening for the being that lives within this skin, around this skin, that lives within this heart, that sees with these eyes, that touches with these hands. What is she experiencing, what does she need? How can I practice Ahimsa...a radical love and compassion towards myself today? How can I court the Presence by being present with what is moment to moment?

I am moving slowly today, staying connected to my breath and to the gentle voice of love, the tenderness that I am needing to give to myself today. What does she want? She wants forgiveness, she wants me to let her off the cross for all the ways I succumb to fear, for all the ways I hide and play small. She wants me to stop judging her for her failures, the ways that she is still unskilled in love, the ways that she can find herself in the prison of the past.

I breath in, I breath out and I dedicate today to loving myself, to practicing Ahimsa, to slowing my pace to the rhythm of my heart, my soul. When my mind races I know it is time to stop pushing, forcing and to release into the flow of God, the river of ease that will deliver me home to myself. I am coming home again in this moment, home to my selfSelf. Home to trusting that the Universe loves me, adores me, wishes all good for me, supports and sustains me. Yes, I too am a Lilly in God's field.

I place myself in the river of God and I listen for the voice of my true desire. I vow to follow the authentic promptings of my own heart and soul today. I vow to be kind to myself and to have compassion for the ways I miss the mark. I vow to behold both the woman who is clear, confident and powerful and the woman who is vulnerable, fearful, and unsure. I vow to trust the underlying rhythm and flow of my life and this sweet universe. I vow to trust that I will be delivered to the source of my desire, my devotion and my destiny.

Ahimsa. (http://www.dlshq.org/teachings/ahimsa.htm)
Ameyn.

P.S. Interestingly enough the structure and acitivites of my morning were not all that different than any other day...subtract the kundalini yoga and add a dead sea salt soak....what was different was my presence and intimate relationship with myself. I was able to shift out of a fear-based dictator relationship with myself full of shoulds and force to a love-based romance of allowing and nurturing and unfolding. This is the sacred practice of Ahimsa. It is always an inside job!